The difference between friends and pets is that friends we allow into our company, pets we allow into our solitude. – Robert Brault

In this world there are two basic types pet owners: #TeamCat and #TeamDog. Granted there are the occasional #TeamBird, #TeamReptile, #TeamRandomPetHere, but for the most part the general population chooses a cat or a dog. Don’t get me started on those weird #Anti-Pet people who take anti-social behavior to a whole new level. I am #TeamCat.

Its not that I am anti-dog. Until recently I had a dog. However, I am allergic and that one allergy exacerbates my auto-immune disorder so the two really aren’t a safe mix for me. However, over the years I have learned something about dogs. They…are…stupid. Not stupid in the sense that they are dumb and lack intelligence, but stupid in the sense that overall dogs love unconditionally. While most may think it is a good thing and WANT to be loved, I am not that type of person – nor am I that type of pet owner.

I currently own two adult male cats, and two kittens. They all have their distinct personalities, and they all love particular humans. Beau, my pasty white albino bastard, is my little lover. While he loves everyone he seems to run into he is without a doubt my little child. When I’m sick he’s near me. When I’m in pain he is trying to comfort me. And when I am having problems breathing in my sleep he is trying to give me some sort of weird cat CPR shit (and I wish I was kidding). Then there is Ares. This motherfucker. Oh, this motherfucker. Authentic chinese anyone? I keep him around for Jason. For whatever reason, I nursed this little Russian Blue cat to health when he was a wee little baby only for him to latch on to my kids’ dad. Whenever Jason is around Ares is at his heels. Never fails. Its like we have a third child together. Baby, the eldest kitten really likes playing with Esmae,and Dude the youngest kitten really, really likes Jakobe…and if you have an autistic child around you’ll know this is a magnificent feat as not all animals like autistic children.

In any case, there’s something different with cats. You have to EARN their love. It’s ever changing, too. Piss them off and boy are they vengeful little creatures. A dog may shit in your doorway out of spite, but cats plan. They’re like having psycho little ninjas around and you always have to keep on your toes. For this reason, I love cats. I love the chaos. My whole life is chaos. But I also love how much they love.

When I want love that I don’t have to earn….I go pet my rats. (Yes, I own rats – or they own me. Who knows.)

One day, decades from now, I’m going to be the old cat lady down the street that everyone wonders if I’m mental. Yes, I’m mental. Yes, I love cats. But at least I don’t walk around with pictures of my cats on my shirts, purses, etc. No…instead I just take pictures and share the world. With that said, here’s Beau:

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